Dancing with the Stars:Entertainment or Inspiration?

Recently I was talking to a friend about the television show Dancing with the Stars. She told me how much she liked watching it. I know it's popular and two years ago I blogged about how some of the stars had rewired their sagging careers by appearing on the show. It remains one of the highest rated tv shows in U.S. history. I asked myself, what is so terrific that makes viewers tune in to ABC every week since 2005 to watch lesser known stars who are nonprofessional dancers compete for a dance prize that has no monetary value?

I asked my friend why she liked it. Her response was awesome, and it wasn't just because handsome pro football player Hines Ward ( pictured above)appeared on the show and won. She didn't offer just one reason. There were many: seeing the competition, the energy, the costumes, the sacrifice, the raw emotions that overtake the winners and the losers, the willingness of the nonprofessional dancers to stretch themselves in an extremely physically demanding way, watching people who had lost prominence come back into the spotlight and give it their all.

Her last and most important reason summed it up, "They inspire me to want to try something new. Not dancing necessarily, but something that I have never done before and to take the risk that I might fail. I have lived too much in my own comfort zone and the clock is ticking"

In our book, Don't Retire, REWIRE! we advocate trying new things, rewiring personal energy and taking a risk knowing that you might fail. But if you don't try, you will never know if you would have been a failure or succeded to the point that it would change your in very positive ways. Dancing with the Stars is a metaphor for life. Don't forget you can just watch the show and let it be a brief distraction from your everyday life or at its best the show may inspire you to do something new. But ONLY you can take that inspiration and turn it into personal motivation. Whether its to get out there and dance, learn a new sport, try a new career, take a trip to someplace you have never been before, or volunteer to help others. I guess it all comes down to doing the dance of life, and we all know that learning new steps isn't always easy, but if you don't try.... You know what I mean.

Live to 150 Years Old? Do I Want To?

I devour every article I can find on longevity. It is a tremendously important topic with broad reaching consequences for all of us. It's one of the reasons Rick and I wrote Don't Retire, REWIRE! If we are going to live longer, we better be constantly rewiring our minds and bodies to prepare for an extended future.

A recent article on the topic, brought me up short. The article, Who Wants to Live Forever? Scientist Sees Aging Cured, was written by Kate Kelland, the Reuters Health and Science Correspondent. She quotes Dr. Aubrey de Grey, the chief scientific officer of SENS, a non-profit foundation in California that specializes in rejuvenation therapy. He claims that the first person who will live to be 150 years old has already been born. The language used in the article is fairly technical and gives the scientific reasons why this can occur. Living to be 150 years old is scary to contemplate but I suspect not outrageous given the fact we have already had Jeanne Calment, a woman in France who lived to a documented age of 122.

But what I thought was equally interesting were some of the over 500 comments people left about the article on the internet. They were funny, thought - provoking and very honest-- a real stream of consciousness like we have with ourselves when the thought of living so long creeps into our psyche.

Among them were, "Does this mean the retirement age goes up to 140?"
"General Motors is going to hate this!!! My pension starts at 65!"
" I already feel like I'm 150 years old and I'm just past 50."
" Do I have to stay married to the same woman that long?????"
" Isn't earth crowded enough already."
" How many times can I transition to a new job?"
And then there are some I can't mention here, because they were a little too earthy!

The article concludes with the comment that "...the first person who will live to 1,000 is likely to be born less than 20 years after the first person to reach 150." Now that's a really scary thought! This is longevity run amuk. I guess we better rethink defunding NASA and start looking to the sky for more real estate. After all, where will we all live? As for Social Security and Medicare, there won't be enough paper to print the money needed. If we wait long enough, Mel Brooks' 2,000 year old man won't be fiction anymore.

Cornell University Has Bragging Rights For A First -Ever 80th Class Reunion

It used to be that June was about brides and weddings, but as you get older you realize that June is really about reunions! All kinds of reunions will be going on this summer: camp, grade school, prep school,high school, college, family, military, plus sorority and fraternity reunions. In fact I'm heading out to San Diego in August for a Tri Delta sorority reunion. Reunions have become big business with websites like Classmates.com and e-magazines like reunionsmag.com making the planning of and attending reunions much easier than ever before.

Reunions have been around a long time, so what was the big deal with the Cornell University reunion?

It used to be that the last college reunion most graduates attended was their 50th reunion. Then it got pushed out to their 60th. After that no one was left or physically able to attend. But today longevity has created a new milestone.

Think about this... for the first time in history there has been an 80th Class Reunion. Cornell University hosted it earlier this month. There are 30 members of the Class of 1931 still living and several showed up to celebrate!

Was it to show their loyalty and love for their alma mater? Absolutley! Was it to visit with classmates and relive the fun of a shared experience of a long time ago? Definitely! Was it because they were still vital and engaged in life? YES! These people had not retired from life, they had rewired (probably many times) and were physically showing it!

You should know that even though many were over the age of 100, they weren't all helped into their chairs. One 100+ year old got up and sang the school fight song to the sound of thunderous applause. Many of this class are still active and involved in life, and have gone through a succession of rewirings.The result is that it has kept them vital and engaged in life. They have also taken care of themselves physically and emotionally.

The Gerontology Research Group keeps track of aging and reports that the United States has over 100,000 people over the age of 100. This number is predicted to grow into the millions over the next 40 years. Will it be you or me who reaches 100? On some levels a scary thought,and yet what a tremendous opportunity to do more things and to have more experience than anyone could have ever imagined.

So when I hear people say---oh why try something new I'll never live long enough to become good at it, from now on I will always challenge that attitude. The truth is, you never know which one of us will live to be 100! So with that thought I have decided that I want my own bragging rights...I want to bop 'til I drop! I want to still be singing and dancing with my sorority sisters when we're 100. Why not? If Cornell can brag about their graduates, why can't you and I brag about our lives? So my directive to everyone is as NIKE says--GO FOR IT---you might be around for alot longer than you ever imagined!

THE MATURE GUY WINS OUT!

Most people think of sports as a young person's game. Yesterday Rory McIlroy, a 22 year old from Northern Ireland won the U.S. Open Golf Tournament breaking several records along the way including being the youngest person to ever win the Open. And yesterday an 80 year old man was rehired to be the new interim manager of the Florida Marlins baseball team. Jack McKeon was brought back to the team to help them get back on a winning track. He retired 6 years ago as the Manager. He wasn't invited back because he is 80 years old, but because he was good at his job, having guided the Marlins to the 2003 World Series Championship and steering them through many winning seasons. He began his professional baseball career in 1949 at the age of 19.

Now the jokes begin. I heard one this morning on the IMUS Show: Sitting in the dugout one of the players calls Jack's name over and over to let him know the game has started. The implication is that at 80 he is worn out and taking a nap. But the joke is on the teller not on Jack. He's got the job, the pay, the excitement and celebrity that comes with the territory. Enthusiastic and energized, Jack is doing something he loves. He would feel that way if he was 25, 50, or 80.

While almost 60 years separates them in age, they have a lot in common--their drivers(no pun intended). Drivers are the emotional fulfillment individuals get from the activities they participate in at work and at play. My guess is that among Jack and Rory's drivers are to be competitive, to challenge themselves, and to constantly be improving their skills and techniques. I am sure there are a few others as well. Knowing your drivers keeps you in the game regardless of age. Do you know yours?

Jack is not the oldest manager in baseball history. That honor goes to
Connie Mack. He managed the Philadelphia Athletics up until age 87. I believe that Connie Mack's record will fall in the next 20 years when we get our first 90 year old manager. If you think it can't happen, think again!

REWIRE and FLOURISH!

Recently, Rick Miners, my co-author/business partner/husband and I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychology professor from the University of Pennsylvania speak at New York City's 92nd Street Y about his new book, Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. His previous book, Authentic Happiness was a best seller and made him the guru of “positive psychology.” We read it and recommended it to everyone. In his new book, FLOURISH, he identifies the 5 important steps to finding that which we all seek---living a life of fulfillment, meaning, and happiness. He is practical and tactical and recommends some practices that are very easy to understand, but require a little discipline. For example, if you want to wake up in the morning in a better mood that will sustain you all day long, before you go to bed write down 3 things that went well for you that day, e.g. what you learned, who did something nice for you, if you did something nice for someone else, etc. He forecasts that making this a habit will lead to a happier overall existence. Is it alchemy? Perhaps, but if it works, it doesn’t matter what it is. Read his book and find out for yourself. If you get the chance to hear Martin Seligman in person, GO! or even lsiten to one of his books on audio. You will be inspired, and definitley not disappointed. You'll even learn why you do certain things and why you don't. Seligman writes and speaks in a way that engages you on every level. Rewire and FLOURISH ..now that's a winning combination for living a fun and fulfilling future! Seligman's experiences and philosophy support many of the same things we recommend in Don't Retire, REWIRE!

Suze Orman and I Both Say Alter Your Expectations! New Comments Added!

For the past year and a half my co-author/business partner/husband Rick Miners and I have been researching people's attitudes about the future. We were simultaneously tracking what we call Life's BIG Game Changers... fluctuating financial portfolios, joblessness, sandwich and generational issues not to mention health care, social security, and longevity challenges. We came to the conclusion that we should expect to live longer and probably with less money! And now as you read this we are imagining that you are letting out a collective OUCH! Since we have been sharing this message with audiences across the country for the past year we have heard that gasp many times!

With increased life expectancy (three million Boomers are expected to reach 100)and walloped financial portfolios we have been telling everyone that they need to rewire their thoughts AND actions about the future. We know that no one, especially Americans, want to believe that they might have to alter their expectations in any way. We have come to expect certain things at work, at play, in our lives overall. And let's face it, change goes down hard.

So as we were working on our book proposal, Suze Orman comes out with her new book,The Money Class,and everything we believe is right inside those paper or electronic pages! Suze is a no holds barred expert and she is out to help people create or re-imagine a new American Dream! I only wish we could have gotten her to recognize that our Rewiring process is THE WAY for people to jumpstart the process!

So after getting over the feeling of being scooped, we said,"we were on the right track, Suze just got there first!" And the great thing is, is that the message is getting out!

Both Suze and I agree that:
1.) you HAVE to be honest with yourself--it's now or never!
2.) it takes GUTS to do that but you won't get anywhere good if you don't!
3.) you need to create a New Dream based on reality, not fantasy!
4.) big and having more are NOT better---hence the mess we are in today!
5.) you WILL have to alter your expectations--even live below your means!

Suze knows the financials...whereas I know the qualitative part of life.
If people knew their drivers, as defined in DON'T RETIRE, REWIRE! they would have a good sense of self, and of what makes then tick. Basically they would have a leg up as they set out to redefine their American Dream.

We highly recommend this book, as well as viewing Suze's Money Class on PBS.

Show A Little Vulnerability- Learn to Play Mah Jongg

My life is about challenging others to rewire their life in some way. So in January I decided to take my own advice. I wanted to rewire some of my play time and decided to learn how to play mah jongg. I wanted something fun; that I could do with friends; that had portability and that would give my brain a good workout! All of the neuroscience data today shows that it's important to constantly be learning something new that challenges your grey matter!

So let me begin with a few facts and the plan I followed:
1) I didn't know anyone who played mahjong.
2) I didn't want to learn bridge because it seemed too difficult and serious.
3) I mentioned my desire to learn mah jongg to a friend who also knew nothing about the game but thought it sounded interesting.
4) She and I found a few other women who said they had wanted to learn but for whatever reason hadn't pursued it...yet.
5) We found a great teacher through the National Mah Jongg League and took lessons.
6) The mah jongg teacher orchestrates weekly games, for beginners and experts, and we committed to play every Monday. The key to doing anything new is to do it with frequency;that's the secret to learning.
7) We all have flexible work schedules which made it do-able (but it still seemed decadent to commit four hours each Monday to fun!)

Still for me, one of the biggest and scariest learning experiences was the first time I played mah jongg with strangers. None of my gang was available one Monday so I found myself playing with far more experienced players. Although I was a "wreck" and kept apologizing for mistakes, they were great and I learned a lot from them. What I realized is that it is impossible to become an expert overnight! Regardless of what we are trying to learn ---you have to be a beginner first! There's no way to get around it! Playing mah jongg has allowed me to become a part of a community of women committed to a variety of passions related to mah jongg! Even something fun and simple like where to buy a mah jongg set or mah jongg jewlery on line at places like mahjonggmaven.

So whether it's mah jongg, fly fishing, golf, cooking...whatever you want to learn..take a lesson or two or three. Yes you might look like a fool; yes you'll be like a kid again just starting out, but you know you're smart and if you like what you are pursuing you know you will "get it" eventually and that there will be new rewards and fun at the other end!

So dare to show your vulnerability and decide to try something new---who knows, you just be good at it!