So What Are You Waiting For?

I bet that some of you reading this blog right now have been thinking about making some changes in your life....could be at work, at play, in your home---it doesn't matter what you are planning to do. Imagine that I am a little voice speaking to you and asking, "so what is stopping you from moving ahead?" Or as I like to say---"what is stopping you from rewiring?" I am NOT necessarily talking about big changes; I'm talking about any change that you say, or have been saying, that you would like to make.

While giving a speech last week I discovered that I was facing an audience of procrastinators. I found myself saying from the stage---"Recognize, you're not getting any younger; there is never a perfect time to enact change, and lastly, and sadly there is no guarantee that you will be here tomorrow...so why not make the change now?" Many people told me they wanted to try new things; take up a sport, learn French, or that they liked their life but just wanted more fun, and good times in it. Most of the things they mentioned were quite do-able.

Then on Friday afternoon we learned that Tim Russert had died. He was a boomer; one of us, and his death was a shock. But as I watched TV and read about him, I smiled because here was a man who truly lived a life he loved.
Sometimes we can be shocked into change. I know I've been.

"Drivers" Can Enhance Your Vacation

We just came back from a two week vacation in Paris; truthfully it was to not only have fun but to also celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in a city we both love! We had an incredible time, even with a weak dollar. A few friends and associates had wondered, "wouldn't it be better to wait until the dollar got stronger? and our responses was, "and when does your crystal ball say that will be?"

First tip---You can always find a reason for not doing something! You don't even have to look that hard! So my advice is, accept that reality, prepare for it, and then get on with it.

Second tip ---For us, it wasn't just about going to Paris, it was about what did we want to do, to see, to experience there? We had subscribed to France Today magazine and used their great site(http://www.francetoday.com/) to see what was going on in Paris. As some of you know, in doing our research for our book DON'T RETIRE, REWIRE! we identified 85 reasons why people work beyond money, but we also discovered that these "drivers" as we call them, are a part of our DNA and apply to our total life.

Third tip---You can also use those drivers to plan your pleasures! Rewiring isn't just about work! One of my drivers is "to have new experiences" and another is "to be current!" I hate to miss out on anything, so we ordered tickets for the Camille Claudel exhibit at the Rodin Museum (http://www.musee-rodin.fr/) and booked an outstanding guide to tour Giverny(www.giverny.org/monet) Claude Monet's home, where he painted the famous waterlily series. and we're glad we did because there were waiting lines for both!

Fourth tip--- One of my co-author/husband's drivers is "to have freedom," so our goal was to create a vacation experience that would fulfill both of us! We didn't fill every minute but rather left time for just sitting in the Tuileries Garden and pondering life, devouring a chocolate dessert at Angelina's or munching on a baguette and letting the world go by!

Fifth tip---Discover what makes you tick (it's a key part of rewiring) then go out and create the life that makes you tick!

A bientot!

REWIRING Is NOT Just About the Big Stuff!

As I travel the country, it doesn't matter whether I'm talking to an audience of Boomers, Gen X-ers, retirees, rewirees, or pre-retirees, I leave and never know for sure how, or if my message to rewire their energy, regardless of age or stage of life, is getting through to them. Think about it...as a speaker, I'm there and then I leave. I often sit on planes and wonder "Did I make a difference?" "Did they get a new idea or two?"

This week I got my answer from a friend who called on Friday and said, "Ok. I took your advice, I'm doing a little rewiring. I want you to know that I'm walking back to my office. I didn't hop right into a cab after my meeting (she lives in New York City). In fact I'm noticing the tulips on Park Avenue, the number of dogs on the street, and that New York is full of tourists!"

"So how does it feel?" I asked. "Actually it's kind of nice because I'm reflecting on my meeting and what my client said in a different way!" I was ready to say "see how easy it is," when she continued with, "And if I walk just right I can still check e-mails on my Blackberry!" Okay, so she hadn't broken a habit, but she was trying something new. She had rewired a little bit of her energy...That's what matters..and she was actually noticing things around her. So maybe it's time for you to drive a different way to work...or listen to a new cd or radio station. It doesn't matter what you do, just re-route some of your energy and see what happens!Maybe nothing...maybe a lot!

Rewiring is not about big changes only...it's about trying small changes on for size and seeing how it feels.

How Are You Doing On Those 2008 Resolutions?

This headline triggers a range of emotions from guilt to regret to joy. It all depends on whether you’ve pursued any of the goals or changes you said you wanted to make in your life this year. Funny, we make plans, have good intentions, then life gets in the way. It happens to all of us. It might seem obvious to you but I think that the goals that we pursue are the ones we really want. We give a lot of lip service to ourselves…..Some people call it the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s,” and I also call it the “yeah, buts..” We have a million excuses for why we can’t do something.

I knew that I needed to rewire some of my own energy this year; I had gotten out of balance, and too focused on other people’s lives, forgetting my own. Admitting that I needed to rewire was the first step. Then listening to myself about things that I said I wanted to do was the next step. An inner voice kept saying to me… “you’ve been wanting to get into yoga.” I had done yoga in India in December, loved it, and verbally made it a priority, but did nothing to make it a reality. Yoga is great for getting in touch with body, spirit, and soul, (www.yogabasics.com) so I thought that would be great for my rewiring journey. When I looked at my travel TO DO List I saw that KRIPULA a Retreat Center in the Berkshires had been on the list for three years (see what I mean about postponing things!) and I decided to go there for the Retreat and Relaxation weekend. Another one of my goals was to spend more quality time with friends. I didn’t just want to “do dinners.” So when a friends said, “I’m into yoga and would love to go to KRIPULA,” I knew there was no stopping me! All of the excuses were removed. I picked up the phone and got us a reservation. My husband said he’d have his own retreat weekend at home while I was away. (remember we don’t rewire in a vacuum!) Getting away allowed me time to reflect, take stock, and more importantly live in the moment, which isn’t always easy. The weekend was fun, fulfilling and a success for me and I had the chance to combine several goals.

Why am I telling you this? It’s an idea that might work for you. Maybe you should try repackaging a few goals. Getting rewired is about changing your mindset, then about changing your actions. When I looked at my goals, yes I actually wrote them out, I saw key themes that supported my desire for more balance and centeredness in my life. It’s just a beginning and I know I’ll make up excuses for why I can’t do yoga or see a friend but at least I’ll be more aware of my own excuses! I’ve also learned to breathe differently, (something I can do anywhere) and even discovered FitTV a channel that offers Namaste Yoga. It’s not even Spring yet and I’m on my way!

Rewirement Tips v.2 - See the Big Picture

There are so many things to consider as you contemplate your future. You need to see the "Big Picture", as best as you can, and you also need to look at your daily life and think of how it will be impacted if you retired or as we call it rewired! To help you with your thought process here are more tips to consider:

Accept retirement as a time of - and for - change.
Think about what will change in your life, and what you want to change. Also cite what you don’t want to have changed.

Get to know yourself.
Make time to discover who you really are. Spend time alone each day. Don’t negate your own ideas. Capture even your off-beat thoughts in your journal, and refer to it often.

Determine what you want in retirement vs. what you need.
Wants and needs are two different things. Needs are what you have to have, and wants are what would be nice to have. Create a checklist for each.

Fill in the blanks on What happiness is---.
Think about your current life and jot down what in it makes you most happy. Also note what’s missing that you would like to have.

Talk to former and current work associates about their retirement plans.
Openness can lead to answers and solutions. Find out what has been successful and what would they do differently. Create a composite of traits and activities that you admire in others’ retirements and would seek in your own. Discover to what they attribute their success.

Try phasing into retirement.
Many employers will consider transferring employees to jobs with reduced responsibilities, schedules and pay as a step prior to entering full retirement. Investigate opportunities within your organization.

Talk to family members.
Share your retirement plans with those close to you. You and your family need to communicate at this time. Don’t risk having them feel left out or being the last to know. Don’t be swayed by their comments if they don’t work for you. If you hit communications roadblocks with your partner, consider counseling.

Go out on top.
It’s great to set your own agenda and leave on a high. Prior to this year the last seven winning Super Bowl coaches retired after they won the Super Bowl.

Why Do So Many People Hate Today's Words?

What’s going on?

Having recently given presentations in Chicago, LA, San Antonio and New York, I have been struck by how vocal people have become about words they hate! Several years ago when we were researching ideas for Don’t Retire, REWIRE!, we heard rumblings about how many people disliked the word retirement. They didn’t like the image it evoked; they didn’t like the definition of the word and they couldn’t relate to it. We knew that our concept of rewiring would offer pre- and post-retirees an alternative way to think about and plan for their future. Although we created the term rewirement we realize now that we don’t care what people call their future life stage, we care more about how they live or “do” their future.

Now it seems that people dislike most words that have anything to do with aging! It’s like there is a rebellion going on. People have shot down the words-- Senior, elder, mid-life, older, mature…and the list goes on! When I started hearing people complain, it made me think about the first time someone said, “Thank you, “Ma'am! to me. All I could think was “What? Or the famous Robert De Niro line from Taxi Driver…”you talking to me?” I thought, “I’m still cool! How can you call me Ma'am?” It meant that that younger person, saw me as older, (notice I didn’t say old) and I was shocked.

AARP says that “60 is the new 40.” Studies cite people seeing themselves as 10 -12 years younger than they really are. So is it just boomers wanting to be younger? No. When a 90 year old woman told me that she volunteers and that her job is to take the blood pressure of the “old” people, I thought who is she talking about? She proudly said, “92 and 94 year olds!” This is not a boomer rebellion about certain words, this is broader and in the mind set of many. It was then that I discovered a great article in AGING TODAY, called WORDS TO AGE BY: A GUIDE ON STYLE AND USAGE. The link will take you to the November-December 2007 issue for at least another 3 weeks. Then it will be in "Back Issues" at the bottom of that page. When you get to the page, just scroll down to "Words to Age By." Although written for the media I think it is a good read for all of us!

So just to be safe if you see me on the street just yell out…Hey You! And I’ll answer.

Vacations Can Be A Good Way To Rewire -- If Used Properly!

We went to India during the holidays. It was the first time that Rick, my co-author/husband and I, had been away from our families for Christmas, and the first time that we had ever traveled with a group let alone a group on a bus! The result was an unbelievable trip on every level and I thank TRAVCOA for that. As much as some of us want or even need to be in control, there is something to be said for turning control over to others and having them supply the structure and schedules. India is a very complex country; made up of extremes (www.bestindiansites.com) and trying to understand India’s beauty and poverty forced me to live in the moment or maybe I was just ready to live in the moment.

Although I carried a Global Blackberry with me, I did not allow it to intrude on my trip. I wasn’t beholden to it; yes the work I do allowed me that freedom but I realize that going forward I will use my Blackberry as tool of freedom not as a tool to tie me down. It’s a head shift, but one I need. Once I began to reflect on why the trip was so terrific, I realized that I had allowed all of my senses to become a part of the Indian experience. I totally immersed myself in all of the sights, smells and sounds of a very magical country.

During a dinner conversation on the third night of the trip, I made a comment and a fellow traveler asked, what do you do professionally? I thought for a minute, and said, “I’ll tell you in few days.” Rick was stunned but smiled. I didn’t want to talk about rewiring. I didn’t want to talk about retirement or pensions, or life planning, or the mature workforce. I was on holiday! Later in the week I told people about DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! and about my speeches and audiences.

When I got back to New York I realized that I had desperately needed time off from talking about the future and about other people’s next acts. I had rewired my own energy and come back to work ready to rewire America but with a greater understanding of myself and the world around me.

Do you hink about how you use your vacations? Or more important, do you take vacations?

Whether you’re on vacation or just doing life, try living more in the moment. Let me tell you, it takes practice, but the benefits can be enormous.