EXPECTED the UNEXPECTED

When I hear the comment, "Oh well I've just come to expect the unexpected," or "nothing surprises me any more," they are usually uttered with a heavy sigh and from a more negative standpoint. Many people think that when you expect the unexpected that you are assuming something bad will happen. Being a "realistic optimist," (an attitude that I think we all should be adopting right now) I expect good things to happen to myself and others. And am thrilled and excited when an unexpected cool thing occurs! Which was what happened last week when our book DON'T RETIRE, REWIRE! and our idea of rewiring was a focal point of Jane Brody's column in The New York Times.

I believe that we need to work hard, work smart, and live by the Golden Rule and sometimes with doing everything else right, we also get lucky! It is challenging times at the ranch and Jane's words rewired some of my thinking! I was in Battle Creek last week doing an AARP program, entitled WORK @ 50...Getting Rewired for Your Next Act. The audience of 250 people were eager for new ideas and insights so Jane's comments and my AARP audience has caused me to do the unexpected....I am going to start offering more HOW TO FIND WORK Tips and ideas in my blog and on my website.

So when something unexpectedly wonderful happens to you, think of how you can use it to make something unexpectedly positive happen for someone else!

Looking For Meaning and Purpose In All the Right Places

I tell people NOT to eavesdrop on other people's dreams, because what one person considers heaven, you might consider hell. I give myself the right to eavesdrop. I view it as part of my on-going research. I see myself as a "social voyeur" so if you have that title then eavesdropping goes with the territory.

Recently a lot of folks have been telling me they need to rewire because they need to find new meaning and purpose in their life. They have gone stale at work and at play even in their relationships. When I ask how they define "meaning and purpose" I usually get a blank stare or quizzical look----"meaning and purpose" are great words but I believe it it up to each of us to define those words for ourselves.

Many Boomers say they want to do new work in their next act...to have a retirement career, or as my friend and author, Marc Freedman , calls it...to have Encore Career. If you are one of those people looking for new work that touches both your life and society then get ready to do some personal due diligence by reading the latest survey from MetLife and Civic Ventures on the topic.

So What Are You Waiting For?

I bet that some of you reading this blog right now have been thinking about making some changes in your life....could be at work, at play, in your home---it doesn't matter what you are planning to do. Imagine that I am a little voice speaking to you and asking, "so what is stopping you from moving ahead?" Or as I like to say---"what is stopping you from rewiring?" I am NOT necessarily talking about big changes; I'm talking about any change that you say, or have been saying, that you would like to make.

While giving a speech last week I discovered that I was facing an audience of procrastinators. I found myself saying from the stage---"Recognize, you're not getting any younger; there is never a perfect time to enact change, and lastly, and sadly there is no guarantee that you will be here tomorrow...so why not make the change now?" Many people told me they wanted to try new things; take up a sport, learn French, or that they liked their life but just wanted more fun, and good times in it. Most of the things they mentioned were quite do-able.

Then on Friday afternoon we learned that Tim Russert had died. He was a boomer; one of us, and his death was a shock. But as I watched TV and read about him, I smiled because here was a man who truly lived a life he loved.
Sometimes we can be shocked into change. I know I've been.

"Drivers" Can Enhance Your Vacation

We just came back from a two week vacation in Paris; truthfully it was to not only have fun but to also celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in a city we both love! We had an incredible time, even with a weak dollar. A few friends and associates had wondered, "wouldn't it be better to wait until the dollar got stronger? and our responses was, "and when does your crystal ball say that will be?"

First tip---You can always find a reason for not doing something! You don't even have to look that hard! So my advice is, accept that reality, prepare for it, and then get on with it.

Second tip ---For us, it wasn't just about going to Paris, it was about what did we want to do, to see, to experience there? We had subscribed to France Today magazine and used their great site(http://www.francetoday.com/) to see what was going on in Paris. As some of you know, in doing our research for our book DON'T RETIRE, REWIRE! we identified 85 reasons why people work beyond money, but we also discovered that these "drivers" as we call them, are a part of our DNA and apply to our total life.

Third tip---You can also use those drivers to plan your pleasures! Rewiring isn't just about work! One of my drivers is "to have new experiences" and another is "to be current!" I hate to miss out on anything, so we ordered tickets for the Camille Claudel exhibit at the Rodin Museum (http://www.musee-rodin.fr/) and booked an outstanding guide to tour Giverny(www.giverny.org/monet) Claude Monet's home, where he painted the famous waterlily series. and we're glad we did because there were waiting lines for both!

Fourth tip--- One of my co-author/husband's drivers is "to have freedom," so our goal was to create a vacation experience that would fulfill both of us! We didn't fill every minute but rather left time for just sitting in the Tuileries Garden and pondering life, devouring a chocolate dessert at Angelina's or munching on a baguette and letting the world go by!

Fifth tip---Discover what makes you tick (it's a key part of rewiring) then go out and create the life that makes you tick!

A bientot!

REWIRING Is NOT Just About the Big Stuff!

As I travel the country, it doesn't matter whether I'm talking to an audience of Boomers, Gen X-ers, retirees, rewirees, or pre-retirees, I leave and never know for sure how, or if my message to rewire their energy, regardless of age or stage of life, is getting through to them. Think about it...as a speaker, I'm there and then I leave. I often sit on planes and wonder "Did I make a difference?" "Did they get a new idea or two?"

This week I got my answer from a friend who called on Friday and said, "Ok. I took your advice, I'm doing a little rewiring. I want you to know that I'm walking back to my office. I didn't hop right into a cab after my meeting (she lives in New York City). In fact I'm noticing the tulips on Park Avenue, the number of dogs on the street, and that New York is full of tourists!"

"So how does it feel?" I asked. "Actually it's kind of nice because I'm reflecting on my meeting and what my client said in a different way!" I was ready to say "see how easy it is," when she continued with, "And if I walk just right I can still check e-mails on my Blackberry!" Okay, so she hadn't broken a habit, but she was trying something new. She had rewired a little bit of her energy...That's what matters..and she was actually noticing things around her. So maybe it's time for you to drive a different way to work...or listen to a new cd or radio station. It doesn't matter what you do, just re-route some of your energy and see what happens!Maybe nothing...maybe a lot!

Rewiring is not about big changes only...it's about trying small changes on for size and seeing how it feels.

How Are You Doing On Those 2008 Resolutions?

This headline triggers a range of emotions from guilt to regret to joy. It all depends on whether you’ve pursued any of the goals or changes you said you wanted to make in your life this year. Funny, we make plans, have good intentions, then life gets in the way. It happens to all of us. It might seem obvious to you but I think that the goals that we pursue are the ones we really want. We give a lot of lip service to ourselves…..Some people call it the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s,” and I also call it the “yeah, buts..” We have a million excuses for why we can’t do something.

I knew that I needed to rewire some of my own energy this year; I had gotten out of balance, and too focused on other people’s lives, forgetting my own. Admitting that I needed to rewire was the first step. Then listening to myself about things that I said I wanted to do was the next step. An inner voice kept saying to me… “you’ve been wanting to get into yoga.” I had done yoga in India in December, loved it, and verbally made it a priority, but did nothing to make it a reality. Yoga is great for getting in touch with body, spirit, and soul, (www.yogabasics.com) so I thought that would be great for my rewiring journey. When I looked at my travel TO DO List I saw that KRIPULA a Retreat Center in the Berkshires had been on the list for three years (see what I mean about postponing things!) and I decided to go there for the Retreat and Relaxation weekend. Another one of my goals was to spend more quality time with friends. I didn’t just want to “do dinners.” So when a friends said, “I’m into yoga and would love to go to KRIPULA,” I knew there was no stopping me! All of the excuses were removed. I picked up the phone and got us a reservation. My husband said he’d have his own retreat weekend at home while I was away. (remember we don’t rewire in a vacuum!) Getting away allowed me time to reflect, take stock, and more importantly live in the moment, which isn’t always easy. The weekend was fun, fulfilling and a success for me and I had the chance to combine several goals.

Why am I telling you this? It’s an idea that might work for you. Maybe you should try repackaging a few goals. Getting rewired is about changing your mindset, then about changing your actions. When I looked at my goals, yes I actually wrote them out, I saw key themes that supported my desire for more balance and centeredness in my life. It’s just a beginning and I know I’ll make up excuses for why I can’t do yoga or see a friend but at least I’ll be more aware of my own excuses! I’ve also learned to breathe differently, (something I can do anywhere) and even discovered FitTV a channel that offers Namaste Yoga. It’s not even Spring yet and I’m on my way!

Rewirement Tips v.2 - See the Big Picture

There are so many things to consider as you contemplate your future. You need to see the "Big Picture", as best as you can, and you also need to look at your daily life and think of how it will be impacted if you retired or as we call it rewired! To help you with your thought process here are more tips to consider:

Accept retirement as a time of - and for - change.
Think about what will change in your life, and what you want to change. Also cite what you don’t want to have changed.

Get to know yourself.
Make time to discover who you really are. Spend time alone each day. Don’t negate your own ideas. Capture even your off-beat thoughts in your journal, and refer to it often.

Determine what you want in retirement vs. what you need.
Wants and needs are two different things. Needs are what you have to have, and wants are what would be nice to have. Create a checklist for each.

Fill in the blanks on What happiness is---.
Think about your current life and jot down what in it makes you most happy. Also note what’s missing that you would like to have.

Talk to former and current work associates about their retirement plans.
Openness can lead to answers and solutions. Find out what has been successful and what would they do differently. Create a composite of traits and activities that you admire in others’ retirements and would seek in your own. Discover to what they attribute their success.

Try phasing into retirement.
Many employers will consider transferring employees to jobs with reduced responsibilities, schedules and pay as a step prior to entering full retirement. Investigate opportunities within your organization.

Talk to family members.
Share your retirement plans with those close to you. You and your family need to communicate at this time. Don’t risk having them feel left out or being the last to know. Don’t be swayed by their comments if they don’t work for you. If you hit communications roadblocks with your partner, consider counseling.

Go out on top.
It’s great to set your own agenda and leave on a high. Prior to this year the last seven winning Super Bowl coaches retired after they won the Super Bowl.